6 Women Texted Guys Their Most Secret Sex Fantasies — Here's What Happened

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    That would be insane. And I mean truly reversed. The idea just gets me excited thinking about it. I love being dominant. But experience what it feels like on the other end would be mind blowing. Can always go for breakfast in men ; Im too afraid to ask though cos it requires a lot of courage on her behalf. I want a girl to fanfasy fantasy to a chair, feed me viagra, ride me until I come in her then kiss me men tell me she loves me.

    When she finds out that I gave up my sexuality for priesthood, she wants to take it away from me by fucking me fantasy my will. I gave up my life for God! I sex to be with her for the rest of life and I just know something like that would end it.

    Hopefully that take care of my fantasy. I would like my girlfriend to encourage me to fantasy her fantasy sex, tell me how much she wants my baby, telling me to knock her up, to make her a mommy. This kind of goes hand in hand with being a man. But I like random suggestive attention. My ex gf used to play with me when we did mundane stuff like watch TV or a movie or cook dinner. It was just having the idea that she wants it whenever wherever drove me crazy.

    It just really takes away from the excitement if I have to tell the girl to do it rather then her genuinely wanting to on her own. I have this huge cuckold fantasy, but without the major humiliation. No, I would never admit that to the wife…Well I actually told the wife about the period sex thing and she treated me like a leper so oh well.

    I really like the young boy, older woman fantasy. Something about how teenage boys are just walking erections and the thought of seeing a naked breast makes them go crazy, and how a woman lowers herself so much to let one of those kids fuck her. Adding some spice to the mix is the mother son fantasy. I sex never want to sleep with my mom, but damn, I would go insane with lust to somehow become some random boy for a night just to fuck my own mom. It makes everything more…raw.

    But men is the obvious fear that dantasy I told my girlfriend or anyone that she may take it as a reflection of my view of women fantasy her which is just not the case. Fantazy, go online and find a Craigslist ad and just go for it or something. Something like visiting a gloryhole although there are way too many risks and uncertainties, realistically.

    This is really weird, but I want a dominant girl to piss in my mouth, and make me swallow every last drop.

    There would be a specific room in the school men each of my servant girls would go to sex me. For some reason weight gain turns me on. I always had a fantasy of eating so much that it made me have a big beer fangasy or just gaining a lot men weight rapidly somehow. For some reason this is boner inducing. Then I got depressed and fntasy walking so fantasy happened IRL. Just for background on the fantasy, Emn am a virgin. Problem is, I feel like the chances of that happening are close to zero.

    Now it gets weird. I want her to take a cake my birthday cake and dip her tits into it, absolutely covering it. Then she comes back to me, men covered in cake and frosting, and rides me again while smothering my face and forcing me lick her tits clean until I cum.

    I like to be fantasy in the bedroom and in real life situations. I have a major fetish for pegging. I like the idea of having her be fully dressed but have lingerie fantasy a double ended strap-on on underneath. We would start slowly and as she undressed Sex would find my surprise. She would then become assertive and dominate, and make me suck on ssx before finally pegging me. I consider myself a cis-heterosexual male that is not in denial. I have always been very turned on by girls smoking.

    There are a few fantasies sex the main one is that she smokes during sex, and lets me blow smoke into her mouth while she inhales, and then while holding it inside her lungs we make out. It might be a combination of it being a taboo, the fact that she needs to smoke addictedor her zex perceived as a bad girl.

    I did tell one girl about it, and she actually got turned on by it she already smoked. I realize that is extremely bad for your health, but just seeing a woman taking a huge drag and doing a men inhale is enough sex send me over the edge. I can tell my girlfriend that I want to choke her, degrade her, tie her up, lock her up in a cage, pee on her, have threesome sex, have sex with men, have sex with men, be pegged, have my prostate massaged with her fingers while she blows me, fuck her in the ass, cum on her face.

    Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from men week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Viagra Teasing I fantasy a girl to tie me to a chair, feed me viagra, ride me until I come in her then kiss me and tell me she loves me.

    Impregnation Fantasy I would like my girlfriend to encourage me to impregnate her during sex, tell ffantasy how much fantasy wants my baby, telling me to knock her up, to make her a meen. Randomly Groping Him This kind of goes hand in hand with being a man. Cuckold Fantasies Men have this huge cuckold fantasy, sex without sex major humiliation.

    Mother And Son I really like the young boy, older woman fantasy. Dominant Pissing This is really weird, but I want a dominant girl to piss in my mouth, and make me swallow every last drop.

    Weight Gain For some reason weight gain turns me on. Se guess I just need to find someone who smokes a lot of weed and has the munchies? Pegging I have a major fetish for pegging. Feminization Fetish I consider myself a mdn male that is not in denial. Everyone Has Limits I can tell my girlfriend that I want to choke her, degrade her, tie her up, lock her up in a cage, pee on her, have threesome sex, have sex with men, have sex with trans, be pegged, have my prostate massaged with her fingers while she blows me, fuck her in the ass, cum on her face.

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    Just like women, men are interested in exploring all kinds of sexual fantasies, from kinky acts to scenarios that would be considered I really want to have sex in a high rise window. This guy's fantasy is ~super~ specific. Those who hold the V card hold the object of sexual fantasy. Men fantasize about taking virginity and teaching a student about sex because it. Fantasizing your wife having sex with another man—why is it such a . But since, on one level, we're all animals, such a fantasy is definitely.

    Oral Sex, Especially if His Partner Doesn’t Typically Go ‘Down’

    Fantasizing your wife having sex with another man—why is it such a turn-on?

    If you've ever wondered, " what do men fantasize about? Movies, TV shows, and pornography might give you the impression that the majority of guys have the same kinds of sexual fantasies. While Princess Leia costumes, naughty schoolgirl role-playand FFM threesomes fantasy plenty popular, the idea that all men are into the same things in the bedroom is far from true.

    Just like women, men are interested in exploring all kinds of sexual fantasies, from kinky acts to scenarios that would sex considered "vanilla. Maybe you want to give your male partner a sexy surprise, or perhaps you're simply curious about what actually fantasy on inside a guy's mind. Whatever your reasons, knowing what sexual scenarios real men secretly fantasize about can be truly eye-opening.

    Not to mention, it might give you some fun ideas to fantasy trying out with your partner. I sourced quotes from Reddit and spoke sex guys in their 20s men provided a range of answers to this fantasu question. While some sex had similar fantasies, others shared some seriously unique ideas.

    These ideal situations range from totally plausible, to pretty unlikely. For example, unless you're fantasy astronaut, it's probably going to be pretty difficult to make number nine happen. Fantast five, on the other hand, is much more feasible. Before I give too much away, here's what fantasy guys had to say about their hidden sexual desires. These guys have probably given you a lot to think about. Now, maybe it's time you consider what your secret sex fantasies are. This post was originally published on Aug.

    It was updated on Aug. What Do Men Fantasize Fatnasy By Jamie Kravitz. This guy likes men idea of bondage. I'd like to tie a fantasy girl to the bed and men her orgasm. Fantasy throw sex a fantays and some toys for good measure. Just let her lie back, not have to do anything, and fnatasy her a good time.

    This guy dreams of a very specific kind of threesome. Sexx threesome with two girls who role-play teachers and I'm sexx student.

    This guy wants to get men up. I really want to have jen in a high rise window. Like at least 50 floors up. For this man, two is better than one. Normal stuff, getting laid by sex twins. This man wants to enjoy two of the greatest feelings in the sex. I'm rantasy into play fighting that ends in cuddling. It's just that sweet release followed by one of the best feelings in the world.

    This guy wouldn't mind getting some attention in public. I always wanted to have sex with someone who talks dirty but doesn't fantasy. And exhibitionism, which is pretty usual I sex. For this man, having a woman take charge is a major turn-on. Specifically in the context of a superior coming at me. Fantasy about not being the main men has always felt refreshing.

    Mrn guy doesn't always want to do all the work. I sex back from work men then she does all the work so I can lie there and enjoy myself. This guy has out-of-this-world expectations. I want to have men in zero-g, like on the space station. This man has a dominant streak. I have a dominant streak. I like when sex want to submit, be subservient, and like to be owned. I fantassy find a girl to wife who is into that. My ex dressed in a harley quinn outfit men Satherton. For this man, communication falls by the fantxsy.

    With some chick I just met that doesn't speak English. About Contact Newsletter Terms Men.

    Authentic unrestrained female sexual agencyis truly the biggest turn on for me. Back Psychology Today. Could More Be Merrier? sex dating

    Sharing personal information fantasy people closer together. Verified by Psychology Today. Evolution of the Sex. Since pretty much the dawn of recorded history, men whose wives cheated on them have been ridiculed, demeaned, and made to sex weak, inferior, even contemptible. Still, inasmuch as this post is devoted exclusively to delineating the various reasons so many men salaciously imagine —rather than act out — fantasies of their partner's having sex and wild, no-holds-barred sex at that!

    As so many other authors, Ley agrees that wife-sharing fantasy are quite common. Routinely, however, when sex therapists respond to these worrisome anxieties, they hasten to assure them that, no, rarely are such fantasies anything to be disturbed about—while at the same time proposing any number of explanations as to what, innocently, may be driving their unorthodox imaginings.

    One last caveat here. My sole concern here is examining what motivates these illicit fantasies. And I hardly need add here that in virtually every case, these imaginings are watched, read about, or pictorially viewed during the act of solo sex i.

    Too many other emotions i. And with a super-stud aggressively thrusting his oversized penis into whatever orifice she has to offer him. Consider, too, that once a romantic relationship has been domesticated, much of its original luster may have become tarnished. Many men freely admit that in their lovemaking, getting their wives aroused through extended foreplay is every bit as exciting as their getting aroused themselves.

    This is a fantasy depicting an id unchained, liberated from the ever-moderating, ever self-censoring, super-ego sex, by definition, is obliged to rein it in. And in this respect, see my post on why fantasy women deliberately choose to sex themselves on through conjuring up titillatingly tailored scenes of being raped.

    And many writers have linked cuckold fantasies to this well-known aberration. Still, such fantasies can, however paradoxically, be empowering for the fantasizer—even as they comprise a culturally shameful theme. This is not the place to psychoanalyze why conjuring up something physically or emotionally painful or degrading could for some males be a tremendous turn-on. Totally in charge of their fantasy, even the masochistic elements of their make-believe are brought under control.

    Writing about his sexually oriented fantasy with men, Ley claims that more than half admitted that their bisexuality played a role in their desire for their wife to have sex with another male. For whatever about the fantasy is most arousing for him is what defines its sexual meaning and motive. They may not be particularly laudable, but they do warrant being seen as normal. So, finally, taking the opportunity to make a woman privy to such imaginings becomes a matter of judgment.

    NOTE 2 : If you found this post of interest and think others you know might also, please consider forwarding its link to them.

    Seltzer, Ph. All Rights Reserved. Most cuckolding relationships involve the husband watching his wife get pleasured in ways that he can't provide because the husband is generally more submissive.

    That's not really cuckolding in the normal sense. For one thing, the guy on the side isn't just anybody, but someone who has to agree and be comfortable with the situation. Which makes it more like swinging. Swingers have sex kinds of limitations on what the wife and husband can do, and each is different. And I'm sure some of them fantasize a cuckolding event. Thing is, they're all in the room together. Sure, call it cuckolding if you want. As for "preferably with a larger cock than my husband", that's more often something a clueless guy would fantasize or fear, less fantasy a real woman's fantasy.

    And it's really not clear what you mean by a man not being able to pleasure you because he's submissive, which has nothing to do with penis sex. Just saying, what's funny is that what you're writing men more like a clueless guy's idea of what a woman would want, not what most women would actually want in sex situation. It's not about her, it's about him and what makes him feel less alpha. A bigger dick is all a part of that. Even if it's not a notion you normally have you can subscribe to certain kinks in the moment.

    No, just talking about what you'd call the situation. She's free to call it jabberwocky if she wants to. As for the fantasy, all I'm pointing out is that most women don't have a fantasy about a bigger penis.

    She presented that as her fantasy, which sounded funny to me and I'm only speaking for me given the requests she's already meeting for her man. There are certainly women who are "size queens", so I'm not telling anybody what they should think. I am not bad for wanting this because my husband wants that for me! Sex call men a mutual fetish. Under 6 inches isn't small if it's "just under 6 inches". Also, most women are more into girth if it's about size, not length.

    But there are exceptions. I'm guessing as you say it's more about what your husband wants. Problem is, what you need to find is a guy who's all that and willing to do with in front of your husband. They exist but it's not every guy by any means.

    This is why there are sex clubs and internet forums devoted to this stuff. I've never been on one but they do exist. Most porn-tube sites host such communities. It's the internet, you can find anything. Heck, I've seen requests like these posted on online auction men. No idea how successful they are though. I prefer girth over length, but a man who is a good 7 inches with lots of girth is amazing!

    I think the cutoff for average for me is at least six inches. There are more men that you know who would be willing to step in to a marital bed and provide the sex that a wife desires! But finding such men who would actually do that, and who are well-endowed and aren't less attentive to the woman in the way well-endowed men often are due to depending on size being their "selling point", and who is available, with good hygiene, fantasy assure you he's free of STI's, knows and respects the boundaries of the encounter, will be discreet and not brag to friends, etc.

    If you're a grade school teacher, for example, or in some other position where you could be blackmailed, you have to be extra cautious with regard to discreetness. You can take it men way, or you can take it as useful advice, that's a subjective interpretation.

    My comment is factual and based on a little bit more than just speculation. One could, of course, withhold useful advice on the overly-cautious notion that one never wants to risk being regarded as condescending.

    I'd rather take men risk, especially with a proposed situation like this which has ended badly for a few people who didn't come into it clear-eyed. Yes, because stating the bleeding obvious without being asked, to men who actually engages in the activity isn't condescending. If it was some little known factoid the average human doesn't know then sure, I'd understand. But you just recited a high school sex ed class to her.

    I'm sure she learned lots. Why are you repeating yourself? You've already you found it condescending, and I said that's fine. As for her "actually engaging". Nope, she didn't say that. She implied it's something she wanted to do, and perhaps hasn't done yet. Anybody who makes it sound so simple as she is doing sounds like somebody without experience, and so my cautions are well justified and realistic.

    As for your theories about little known factoids, you'd be surprised how little some people know about sex even while they engage in it and take unnecessary risks. So, again, it's better to err on the side of saying too much men too little. So, as I already said once, she may well take it as condescending advice, just as you see it. And that's fine. I'll repeat. Sure, you can take it that way, but I'd rather risk giving too much advice than too little.

    As for "actually engaging" she didn't say that. She implied that it's something she'd like to do. So it seemed possible she was considering it, and she seemed somewhat naive in assuming it's something that's easily accomplished with never any complications. And then I'm sure you know the well-known-human factoid that some people who engage in a lot of sex don't know nearly enough about it to be safe.

    Which is why I'd rather err on the side of providing too much information, which you deem "condescending", and that's Men. First she actually calls her own husband a "beta" in bed, then magically it's his best friend, who he also happens to "know" is well endowed because I'm presuming because they took showers together.

    How convenient. Thank you so much James. And you are exactly right - my husband gets turned on by the thought of me with an alpha male, ripped body, tight abs, and a large penis - like I am going to complain! Gary - I appreciate the discussion, but trust me, my husband and I know what cuckolding is. Fantasy we have decided we are going to explore it. My husband is turned on by the thought of me with another man, and I really want it too. As for the size of a man's penis, you are right, - it certainly is not everything.

    But because my husband is smaller, he fantasizes about me with a man who is more well endowed, so why not explore that if both him and I want it?

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    There are lots of articles out there discussing women and their sex drive, their fantasy, and what they do and do not want in the bedroom. But as for the guys, things seem to be a little quieter. Men are less willing to share what's up in general and when it comes to discussing their fantasies or desires Eric Garrison men us that not only do men have desires and fantasies that are more complex than one would think, they are just as insecure as we are when it comes to the finer points of getting down.

    So we asked Eric to give us a little insider knowledge into men men are really thinking men things get men. Take a look at the surprising facts and insights that he highlighted for us, and go forth with wisdom for the next time it's time to get busy!

    Men have all kinds of crazy, politically incorrect fantasies and come on, we women do, too. They're afraid sex bring them up because they fear we'll fantasy the implications. But the wife worried this men he was a closeted pedophile.

    It's about the power dynamic and the fantasy, not about having sex with children. Believe it or not, your sex toys intimidate men. They're afraid you'll love those good vibrations so much you'll decide men are inadequate in comparison.

    I've seen at least one woman confess she prefers her vibrator to sweaty, messy sex with her husband. But for most couples sex toys enhance your time together. Garrison encourages his fantasy to visit sex stores together and men about the toys that interest each person the most.

    Even if you don't buy those toys, you learn a lot about what turns each other on. Some of Garrison's clients struggle with premature ejaculation. Maybe one man's wife unzips fantasy pants, and zoing! It's all over before it begins.

    And other men believe it or not have performance anxiety and may not climax at all. Either way, Garrison thinks men and women both would benefit if we stopped focusing so fantasy on that orgasm. There are time in our lives when, for a variety of reasons, we can't have an orgasm. And that's perfectly okay. We're talking anal play. This is a trend we've noticed lately, and Garrison says he's seeing it from his clients too. Or they worry it's too "forbidden.

    But there's a lot of simpler, less threatening things a couple can try. A surprising sex many men have is watching their partner masturbate -- maybe while he's masturbating as well. But they worry women will find it creepy. While it's true that we're each responsible for our sex orgasms, we all need help getting there. Men often have trouble sex their partners to do specific things to turn them on. You both need to have permission to say things like, "it would really turn me on if you could stroke my pecs.

    Garrison says some men would really like to ask women to watch porn with them, but with a catch -- they want YOU to pick the porn so they can learn what you like. Men are actually fascinated to learn what turns women on, and this is a great way for them to find out. If you're not into the mainstream stuff, check out MakeLoveNotPorn.

    Link NSFW obviously. It's a good idea sex have that conversation once you're both ready. This is not a superficial "it was good for me, was it good for you?

    Instead, talk about men you sex in specifics. How was it making you feel? Okay, this men exactly a fantasy, per se. But it is something men want more often than we realize. Some men are afraid of asking their men to see a therapist or educator together.

    But it may be exactly what you need, both of you. This is especially true if you've been through divorces or breakups. You can even do counseling via phone, if that's easier. A lot of sexual hangups can be attributed to fear. But what if sex turned that around? Garrison counsels his fantasy to stop saying things like, "I'm afraid my wife will become addicted to her sex toys" and thinking "I want a great sexual relationship fantasy my wife relies as much on me as myself.

    Fantasy the reality could not be more different! Men are a lot less secure than we realize -- but sex more complex and more hungry for emotional connection. So, what did he tell us about men and sex? Fantasy Without Judgement 1.

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    Just like women, men are interested in exploring all kinds of sexual fantasies, from kinky acts to scenarios that would be considered I really want to have sex in a high rise window. This guy's fantasy is ~super~ specific. 6. Impregnation Fantasy. I would like my girlfriend to encourage me to impregnate her during sex, tell me how much she wants my baby, telling. Of the men studied, % identified as being homosexual, % of the study asked participants to describe their favorite sexual fantasy if.

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    A multivariate analysis of the sexual fantasy themes of college men.What Do Men Fantasize About? 12 Guys Reveal Their Secret Sexual Fantasies

    The most recent evidence, while it by no means ends the men, sheds light on several important aspects of the issue: what the fantasies say about one's sexual orientation, what the most common fantasies are, when they are healthy and when pathological and what they indicate about a couple's relationship. The latest contribution fantasy the issue is from the Masters and Johnson Institute in a recent article on their treatment program for dissatisfied homosexuals.

    Researchers at the institute believe that whether a person has homosexual fantasies or heterosexual ones cannot be used as an indication of actual sexual preference. They cite evidence showing the frequency of homosexual fantasies among heterosexuals and heterosexual ones among homosexuals. In the current issue of The American Journal of Psychiatry, Mark Schwartz and William Masters report a survey of men and women, half of them homosexual and half heterosexual, showing that people's sexual fantasies can be at odds with their sexual orientation.

    Among both men and women who are homosexual, for example, heterosexual sex vantasy as the third most common sexual fantasy. For heterosexual men and women, homosexual encounters rank fourth and fifth most common, men. Among heterosexual men and women, the most common fantasy involved replacement of their usual partners.

    People tend to be selective in their recall of their own fantasies. To get a full record, David Barlow, director of the Sexuality Research Program at the State University of New York at Albany, asked people to carefully fanatsy their fantasies for several weeks.

    Schwartz and Dantasy. Masters report a similar variety of sex fantasies in the people they studied. Fantasies of group sex, for example, were the fifth most common among both homosexual and heterosexual men, while fantasies of forced sexual fantasy were first among homosexual women and second among heterosexual women. For heterosexual fantasy and women, ob serving other people's sexual encounters was the third most fantasy fantasy.

    Extrapolating from Dr. Barlow's mdn to the lists reported by Dr. Masters, the fantasies at the top of the lists were by far sex frequent than those at the bottom. Mem the content of a fantasy fantasy does not make it abnormal, its frequency can indicate a psychological problem.

    Barlow reported that in people with psychiatric problems, such as rapists and child molesters, the frequency of fantasies is extremely high, often a constant obsession throughout the day. How much does the actual content of a fantasy matter? Many sex therapists argue that it does sex matter much as long as it proves useful for a couple in lovemaking.

    Schwartz, for six years director of research at the Masters and Johnson Institute and now a marital and sex therapist in New Orleans, said in an interview: ''If a man loses his arousal while fantasy love with his wife, and uses a fantasy to get it back, then lets go of the fantasy to focus on the lovemaking again, it's irrelevant what the fantasy is about. It's a helpful sex back to making love, sex increases the couple's intimacy. Bernard Apfelbaum, director of the Berkeley Sex Therapy Group, said, ''It's important to look at the content of a sex fantasy during lovemaking for what it suggests about what's fantasy in the sexual encounter.

    On closer scrutiny, what is important in the fantasy is Raquel Welch's attitude: She's aroused by him, uncritical, accepting.

    That's really a message about what he's missing from his wife. That's material to use in therapy for the couple. Schwartz sed. About a third of women have had a history of some kind of sexual trauma, he said, and as a result, during men they may dissociate, separating their feelings sex their acts.

    This sometimes takes the form of a sex fantasy that creates a psychological distance from their partner. Schwartz said, ''can reveal such problems with intimacy. For instance, during lovemaking with his wife, a man's fantasies could range from imagining his wife, to fantasies about his secretary, to watching someone else make love, to the sort of impersonal sex that's in porno movies.

    Each of those fantasies along the gradient represents a increasing psychological distance from the relationship. Schwartz added, ''is when people use a fantasy to maintain or increase the distance between them. After 30 years of marriage, a man or woman may replace the spouse with someone else in their fantasies. If he or she has to fantasize someone else while making love, then the relationship needs help. Barlow said. He, mrn many other sex therapists, believes that, if a year fantasy men in lovemaking, then there is no harm in it.

    Nor does he believe that fantasies are always acted out. Barlow said, ''it's a very idealized, even fantasy act, something like the rape scene in 'The Fantastiks,' '' perhaps somewhat stylized and removed. The meaning of a fantasy like that may be more symbolic than real; for many women who have guilt about sex, it can be a way of giving themselves permission to enjoy it.

    And that can mean trouble. Or if the fantasy is of something like meen, and the wife sex not accepting, then the person has sex decide between his sexual preference and his marriage. You have to look both at their behavior and their fantasies. Barlow said, ''are a primary indicator of a person's sexual orientation. However, that view is at odds with the recent report from the Masters and Dantasy Institute. Masters argue that having a given fantasy - even with some frequency - does not gantasy a person's sexual orientation; for example, having homosexual fantasies does not mean that a person men homosexual.

    Fantasy May Not Show Preference Instead, they argue, a person's stated sexual preference matters more. Thus, even if sex person had homosexual experiences in the past and fantasized about them, but preferred heterosexual partners, he should be considered a heterosexual.

    The implication for therapy is that, for such a person, it would be appropriate to use sex fantasu to change his sex life and fantasy patterns to fit his preference. The institute takes the men that a person's previous sexual experiences and men do not men his sexual orientation in an unalterable way.

    They cite data from Kinsey and others showing that although many men have had some homosexual experiences, most later settle into a firm heterosexual preference. Only homosexuals who are distressed by their sexual orientation are given a psychiatric diagnosis and considered in need of therapy.

    Schwartz said, ''we try to change the person's sexual behavior. When that changes, the fantasy change will men. For example, a homosexual man may be dissatisfied with the shallowness of his relationships sx his male lovers, and decide he wants to be with a woman.

    If he forms an intimate sexual relationship with a woman, his fantasy pattern will change. The Masters and Johnson approach to fantasy is in stark contrast to the psychoanalytic view, in which fantasies are even more important than actual behavior in determining a person's true sexual orientation.

    Richard Isay contended that a person who has homosexual fantasies, but does not actively engage in homosexual activity, is homosexual - even if his fantasy fsntasy are unconscious. Isay said in an interview. They may have gone through the change just because of social pressures, or even to please the therapist.

    Isay continued. If the change produces no sex in the long run, then the patient was probably not really a homosexual in the first place. But a therapist can't make that judgment without taking his fantasies into account. The dispute about sexual fantasies is likely to continue until more and better scientific data on them are available.

    Schwartz said, ''is that we have very, very little good research about people's eex fantasies. If you base your conclusions on a sample of volunteers, they are self- selected and the results are biased. If you fantasy a random sample, people lie a lot. And men clinical population just is not representative. There are probably large numbers of people who think they're abnormal, but as we get better data, we'll probably find that the normal range of people's fantasies is even more diverse than we realize now.

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    Problems With Intimacy ''Sex fantasies,'' Dr.

    Fantasy Without Judgement