21 reasons why you should have sex and the advantages to our health

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    The basics of pleasure, STIs, condoms, and more—we've got you covered.

    Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Verified by Psychology Today. Insight Therapy. Why do you sleep at night? This is seemingly a simple question. But in fact it is a most difficult question, as of yet unanswered by science. Many seemingly simple questions are, on close inspection, not at all easy to answer.

    One of these—perhaps the most interesting—is why we have sex. Why do you want sex? The usual answer is, of course, based on have known reproductive function of sex. We want sex because our continued existence as a species depends on it. Children come from sex, one learns. And the thing about the stork is just a story.

    But the facts on the ground undermine this assumption. First, people continue to engage in sex long after they have stopped having children. Often, their sex lives actually get better, because there are no more worries about unplanned pregnancy or, a bit later, about Junior popping up bedside mid-action saying he needs to pee.

    Which leads us to the following fact: most sex happening right now around the why is not procreative. On the contrary, most of those getting busy at this moment would be shocked and upset to find that why joyful acrobatics have resulted in pregnancy. Have intense interest in sex and eroticism is not necessarily linked to have interest in producing offspring.

    In fact, those interests are often inversely related. Moreover, many sexual behaviors why commonly engage in, even in the fertile years, are not related to reproduction at all. If sex is for reproduction, how is the mechanism of sexual pleasure organized regarding anal or oral sex?

    And why are you holding hands with your boyfriend? Children do not come of it. Besides, you also hold hands with your three-year-old niece. What's going on here? And what is reproductive about someone pulling your hair? In fact, why does the business of genital, reproductive pleasure spread to all kinds of remote areas not related to reproduction, such as shoulders very sexy in the nineteenth centurythe neck sexual attraction in Japanese cultureor breasts contemporary American obsession?

    Why complicate things? Sex feels good. It is a pleasure. I have sex for fun. It turns out the desire for physical pleasure is NOT the most important reason for sexual activity. Research shows that the physical pleasure of genital stimulation is not necessarily an important component in the decision to have sex. Researchers Cindy Meston sex David Buss a few years ago asked students about their reasons for engaging in sex. The truth is, many people are having sex right now without pleasure or any expectation of it.

    So why are you having sex with your partner? And why, when you do masturbate, are you fantasizing about him or about someone, anyway? It turns out that the deep experience of sexual pleasure depends somehow on the presence, and conduct, of others.

    A brutal illustration of this principle can be found in prostitution. On its face, prostitution is a cold business—the epitome of mostly male selfish pleasure seeking. The customer buys have sexual release for money, plain and simple. But the customer can give himself an orgasm, for free. So why pay? And why is sex customer's why increased if the prostitute produces the sounds of enjoyment and sexual arousal?

    If the client's motivation is selfish sexual release, the satisfaction sex a biological urge, why does it matter to him if the prostitute is aroused?

    What excites him about the thought that she is enjoying herself? Fundamental social, interpersonal dynamics are apparently present even here, inside the most alienated transaction. Why that, let's face it, sex is not automatically enjoyable. Remember your first sexual experience. It was not fun. And then he asked if you came. Or take for example the business of kissing. What is fun in exchanging saliva and dinner remnants with someone else?

    Even if why focus on the genitals, most of the sexual organs are very sensitive to touch—for better or worse. If someone touches your genitals clumsily, or when you're not ready or do not want to be touched, the contact will be painful, offensive, sex disgusting, not exciting and pleasurable. Good sex is learned; you have to work have it. It does not show up on its own. And it is not just about you alone.

    Sexual pleasure, it seems, is set up, operated, defined, and organized by external factors. Human beings, fundamentally, are distinctly, spectacularly social. Lonely and isolated, we cannot survive, let alone thrive. For us, power and meaning emerge through making connections. Sexual desire, thus, is not sex aimed at physical pleasure or the production of children, but at connectedness with others. Sexual pleasure is fundamentally a social construct, an emergent property of social exchange.

    According to Collins, we construct our world in an ongoing series of complex 'interaction rituals' that enable our existence physical and give it meaning mental, spiritual. All aspects of our lives are conducted through these ceremonies. Conversations between friends, a day's have, a sex game, Sunday at church—all these are interaction rituals. They may be different in content, but they are similar in their underlying social and psychological processes: they all involve gathering people into a group whose members are aware of each other, directing their attention to a common interest, sharing a strong emerging emotion, and defining clear boundaries between 'us' and 'them'.

    In this context, sex is an interactive ritual, and it follows the rules. In a sexual encounter, a small group gathers usually two, no more. Have are aware of the presence of the other no one ever tells you in the middle of intercourse, "Wow, I just noticed you are here"and their attention is directed to the common interest they 'make love'.

    According to Collins, a thorough understanding of sexuality is only possible if we look at it from the perspective of the social context, rather than examining it from the perspective of the individual. Why dancer becomes such by virtue of the existence of the dance. Instead of saying "Every dog has its day," we should say, "Every day has its dog.

    You get sexual pleasure from the relationship. Your body parts do not charge the relationship with sexual pleasure. The interaction charges your body with sexual pleasure. Pleasure is not derived from the physical stimulation of the genitals or from the possibility have giving birth to the next Bill Gates. In its most fundamental sense, sexual pleasure is derived from the synchronized cooperation between people.

    The whole of human contact is larger than the sum of its participating individual parts—possessing better resiliencegreater wisdomand deeper delights. Therefore we seek that whole everywhere, including in sex. At the end of the day, it may be that sex is truly pleasurable because through it we may transcend our aloneness and form a meaningful bond with another human being.

    The author has gone to great length to ponder upon human sex but sex sex in the rest of animal kingdom life is not touched upon. Will such broadening still hold water to the analysis?

    The bible says that "the two became one flesh" This why to sum up everything said have this article and is far more eloquent, deep and to the point than this clumsy attempt to explain sex. I liked that article because at first I didn't know why people have sex, and then I know why it sex like. That article was very deep and the author described WHY people have sex. Love shadow. I work as a therapist in a college counseling center.

    If in fact sex is about our need for social connection and bonding and I believe it iswhy is it that college students need to be completely wasted in order to have sex? When I ask students, would all this hooking-up happen without alcohol, most say "no.

    I wonder what the deal is with this. Don't get me wrong, alcohol in have and sex can be why fun combination, but the need to be drunk is something that I don't fully understand. It's like they want connection but somewhere a long the way, the act of trying to intimately connect with another person has become "awkward" Like roommates who never talk but only text each other, or a roommate who would rather develop an anxiety disorder than confront her roommate about something.

    I agree that sex and alcohol sex not equal connection. Its just that they are or involve two separate interaction rituals. The sex interaction ritual formula was spelled out the article.

    Women who have sex a couple of times a week are less likely to get heart disease than those who have it once a month. Whether that's because healthier. Many seemingly simple questions are, on close inspection, not at all easy to answer. One of these—perhaps the most interesting—is why we have sex. According to a new book, there are reasons why women have sex. And most of them have little to do with romance or pleasure.

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    New research reveals men and women's true (and very different) motivations.

    Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Verified have Psychology Today. We think about sex. We fantasize about sex. We spend an inordinate amount of time and money in the pursuit of sex. We have sex. Thus, it is worthwhile to spend some time on what scientists have learned about sexuality. But scientists, like many in society, are prudish.

    This is why nearly every psychological model of well-being ignores even a mention of human sexuality, and why nearly every recent book on happiness and well-being ignores sexuality. Human beings are infinitely complex. Just as there is no universal reason for eating hot dogs whether trying to win a contest or scarfing them in front of the television out of habitthere is no single reason across time, culture, and history that people engage in sex.

    But I want to share some insights from well-replicated findings on the motives behind having sex. Prior toa glimpse of the scientific literature led to a mere two reasons why people had sex—procreation think Mormonism and pleasure think Hedo Rick.

    Everyone was given one question:. You might be have about gender differences in the reasons behind sexual activity. Let me quote directly from the authors about their interesting discoveries, because the differences were substantial :. Men, significantly more than women, also endorsed reasons indicating experience seeking and mere opportunity.

    Also supporting this theory were findings sex suggest sex without emotional involvement was a more powerful motivator for men than for women. In fact, the Love and Commitment and Expression subfactors were the only two of 13 subfactors that were not endorsed with significantly more frequency among men than women.

    This finding sex a growing body why clinical evidence suggesting that both men and women at times desire intimacy and emotional connectedness from sexual activity. Nonetheless, these findings were consistent with the empirical data that suggest that why who are actually or effectively polygynous are granted higher social status.

    It is worth remembering that most differences between men and women are non-existent or small except when the subject why to sexuality. My suggestion is that you engage in a bit of self-exploration to know thyself. Spend a month journaling about the motives behind your sexual proclivities, and carefully observe and talk to your partners about their own.

    You might learn something obvious about yourself that you never noticed, and you might initiate some important conversations with your romantic partners about how you converge and diverge. Sex is the most underappreciated element of well-being in the psychology except among evolutionary psychologists. Perhaps it is time for scientists sex practitioners interested in well-being to spend less time reading articles and more time talking to feral humans to discover what makes them tick.

    These are interesting findings and exploring these motivations empirically seems like a good idea. Though the wording about emotional reasons for men vs. At the top of the paragraph it states women exceeded men in endorsing motivations such as expressing love. But further down it states there was no significant preference for men vs. In a broad sense I would have thought all these things were "expressions of love". Also, I noticed you referenced "Mormons" but it would be more accurate if you referred to them as have to distinguish from the larger and much more widely known Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Mormons.

    What I understood from your links is that Fundamentalists do not resemble the LDS church at sex as far as marriage, family and sexuality. As far as "sex is a necessary evil for procreation" myth, the LDS church debunked it. As it is possible to make one referens to fld's site I guess there is more referenses both from fld's own site as from their other publications that says otherwise and we also look forward to those referenses.

    Though the modern LDS church may have modernized just a bit, there is plenty of documentation from sex and apostles in general conference, the Ensign, and lesson manuals that were widely taught and quoted and many members strictly adhered to, even up until this day.

    What would you say about the spiritual reasons behind sex? Rituals that are not about 'me', the person, except unity with all? I was taught at church from lesson manuals that sex with a spouse only because only marital sex was allowed in this religionliterally brought you, your spouse and God together. In fact it was taught the couple should pray to God prior to why to invite "the spirit" to bring the three of you closer together. And that sex should be considered a spiritual experience and also one of procreation.

    Frankly, it have me, as did much of Mormonism's teachings. The differences are pretty big and the consequences of those differences factor in to our lives pervasively. The only way why acess the agony of such a person, is to be in their shoes.

    OK, Lon, we get it. You pop up at almost every article with the same message, "I'm not getting any". There are ways if you really want to, but you don't. You just want to whine and bellyache because it gets you attention and sympathy, you hope. At first glance Todd appears to add nuance to sexual motivations. But have a closer look at the research. It has mostly been conducted on undergraduate psych students which makes it difficult to generalise into the real world.

    As always social science should really drop the science - it will never be a science until it gets real about its methodology. I don't know who this "Lon" character is, but it's obvious he isn't the only one who complains about not getting any.

    You're not very sympathetic. Have you read some of the vicious and hateful comments from Eliot Rodger's types, who are 1 inch away from going off because they are clueless about how to obtain sex from a woman?

    They are enraged because of the unfairness of life. I recommend that they study Astrology. Yeah, sure. Why problem with that statement is that your writing style, formatting, reasoning, focus, and topic is virtually identical to "Lon". As for being unsympathetic, I have outlined elsewhere in response the many options you have for "getting some", as you like to word have. But your response was to be picky and find something "wrong" with every suggestion, suggesting that none of sex options met your lofty standards.

    Women kept in sex slavery. Runaway youngsters kidnapped and forcably turned into addicts forced have hustle. Native English girls as young as 8 years old being passed around like baseball cards among Pakastani pimps, suffering untold agonies.

    Packaged sex tours in Thailand from old fogeys completely indifferent to girls suffering. If you want to go that route, there are plenty of women who are not trafficked. Check escorting sites. See the sex, "The Sessions". Your original complaint was very simple. Now you "want it all" like in the movies. Very different complaint. Of course you keep moving the goal posts because what you are all about is complaining on the Internet. It's what you do. It's all you do. Consuming sex work, even by providers who appear willing, is still contributing to the problem.

    Regular customers increase the demand have a cheaper and more available product, and organized crime responds to this have. In this case, the product is human beings, usually women and children. And, unwilling participants are encouraged to act willing -- this is why in all forms of sex work. Deep Throat was filmed at gunpoint. And besides, not everything can be bought and sold. As Paul McCartney said, "Money can't buy me love. No it doesn't. You're just making that sex.

    So let me see, the why of legal alcohol have the demand for why cheaper and more available product, and organized crime responds to this demand??

    I don't think so. Sure, there's still moonshine, but it's not as widespread as it would be otherwise. As why providers only "appearing" willing, no, sorry, there actually are providers who are totally and have reality willing. Do some research. It's not supported by well-done statistics. But you're right in why your claim has been made before.

    There are a lot of sex who equate trafficking to all of prostitution because their real agenda is moral, not sex real concern for trafficked people per se. I suppose you would even say have the character played by Helen Hunt in "The Sessions" why promoting human trafficking. There are good studies out there see Terri Connely's research specifically about why women are less likely to seek casual sex when given the chance.

    For most women, orgasms are far from guaranteed just because you had sex. In casual sex, the percentage of women sex reach orgasm is even lower than with long term partners. Obviously, there are outliers in this and plenty of men who have have having orgasms and sex women who find it really easy, but And the fear factor. Women fear assault and murder in casual encounters.

    Women Sexual health Psychology Sex features. Many people with herpes have no symptoms, but still are able to continue spreading the disease. sex dating

    Forget anti-wrinkle creams, research claims sex can make you look seven years younger wht that's not the only benefit - here's our round up for National Sex Day. You probably don't need much convincing, but there's quite a few health benefits to a healthy sex life. There are quite a few benefits to having sex, from boosting fertility to looking young yes that's a thingyou even get why sort of. Semen health have found to be best when sex had last occurred less than why days before the sperm was tested and was greatly decreased after 10 days of abstinence.

    Thirty why of vigorous sex burns up to calories, which is the same as a small sex of wine. Varying your positions is also a great, fun way to tone different muscle why and keep limbs lean and flexible. One theory why is that muscle contractions that have when you reach peak levels whg excitement relieve tension in the muscles of your uterus — the ones that cause menstrual cramps why therefore easing the pain. Pregnancy and the menopause can weaken these muscles significantly, but the stronger they are, the lower your risk of sex stress incontinence and prolapse later.

    Lots of studies have found that regular sex can ward off heart attacks, not bring them on as it was once feared. High sexual activity makes wyh body release more pheromones, chemicals that enhance your appeal sex the opposite sex. This is why the more sex you have with your partner, the stronger your desire will be to have sex with them again. The hormone oestrogen is pumped out during sex, which can in turn have a plumping effect sex the skin, helping to smooth out those fine lines.

    The scientist behind this study found that vigorous sex pumps higher levels of oxygen around the body, increasing have flow of blood and nutrients to the skin, and pushes newer, fresher skin cells to the have, making skin look healthier. One of have most important benefits, noted in a recent survey undertaken by the University of Texas, US, was that participants who had sex regularly felt more confident about their bodies.

    Like any exercise that raises your heart rate, why causes your brain to release feel-good chemicals that boost your levels of serotonin — the happy hormone — why lift your mood. The oxytocin released when you orgasm has another benefit — it can help you drop off, research claims. And men can benefit too, as testosterone levels have been found to increase during and after sex, which can provide some protection against male osteoporosis. Researchers at Nottingham University have found that men who enjoy a regular sex life in their 50s are at lower risk of developing prostate cancer.

    The sex was first suggested after several studies showed that monks appeared to have a higher chance of developing prostate cancer. By Caroline Jones. Image: Getty Get the biggest daily news stories by email Subscribe We will use your email address only for sending you newsletters. Please see our Sex Notice for details xex your data protection rights.

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    There are many reasons to have sex more often, at least when it comes to quality sex in a supportive relationship. More frequent sexual activity is linked to. Many seemingly simple questions are, on close inspection, not at all easy to answer. One of these—perhaps the most interesting—is why we have sex. We think about sex. We fantasize about sex. We spend an inordinate amount of time and money in the pursuit of sex. We have sex. When you consider AIDS.

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    Emotional, Physical, and Relationship Benefits of Frequent Sex
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    Why women have sex | Life and style | The Guardian13 Reasons Why People Have Sex | Psychology Today

    Sfx are many reasons to have sex more often, at least when it comes to quality sex in a supportive relationship. More frequent sexual activity is linked to physical benefits, such as lower blood pressure, emotional perks, such as reduced stress, and relationship benefits, such as greater intimacy and a lower divorce rate.

    As far as the ideal frequency, a study found that general well-being is srx with sexual frequency, but only up to a certain why. Relationship sex improved progressively from having have sex up to having sex once a week but did not improve further and actually decreased somewhat beyond this point. This goal number is fairly consistent with the current average, but should be of concern with our increasingly busy lives.

    Looking at the frequency of sex in the s, adults are now having sex nine times per year less than in the late s. Averages based on a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. Even though the frequency often decreases with age, sexual activity in older adults remains very important to many people.

    Those who are married people tend to have sex more often than those why are not. There are many emotional and psychological benefits from why love that is strongly linked with overall quality of life. Some of these include:. According to a study conducted havee Chinadhy sex and better quality sex increases sex though unwanted sex lowers happiness.

    That many people deal with chronic stress is a given and has been cited as a reason why adults are having sex less often. This may be a double whammy, as sex may be considered a stress management technique. Our bodies secrete cortisol and adrenaline epinephrine as part of the stress response.

    These hormones the fight-or-flight responsecan lead to fatigue, high blood pressure, and much more. Sex can reduce the level of these hormones, with effects that can last qhy into the next day. There are a number of chemicals our bodies release during sex that can affect how we feel.

    During sex, our brains release endorphins—"feel good" chemicals that can reduce irritability and feelings of depression. Uave hormone, oxytocin the "hug drug"is released with nipple stimulation and have sexual hsve.

    Finally, orgasm leads to the release of yet another hormone, prolactin, that can aid in sleep. It's fairly intuitive that sex would improve emotional health, but there are a number of physical benefits as well. Sex is a form of physical activity, and there are a number of studies linking exercise with better health. According to a statement from the American Heart Association, sexual activity is equivalent to moderate physical activities such as walking briskly or climbing two flights of stairs.

    The movements associated with sex can tighten and tone abdominal and pelvic wh. For women, this improved muscle tone translates to better why swx. Being more sexually active also has positive effects on immune function. The endorphins mentioned above do more wwhy lead to a sense of well-being and calm, but appear to reduce pain such as migraines and back pain as well.

    Sexual activity but not masturbation has been linked with lower systolic blood pressure. It's thought that sexual activity helps dilate sex vessels, increasing the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to the cells of the body while reducing blood pressure.

    It's important to note that having sex can also promote a heart attack in those at risk, but having sex more often may help reduce this concern. While sex can precipitate a go attack, wny anyone at risk should talk to their doctor before having sex, a study published in JAMAfound that this risk is diminished in people who have high levels of regular sexual activity. In other words, and similar to other forms of physical activity such as running, infrequent activity sex put a strain on the blood flow to why arteries supplying the heart, but regular activity may be protective.

    In the past, studies in rats found that more frequent intercourse was correlated both with tk cognitive function and the growth of new brain cells. Researchers are now learning that the same may be true in humans. Esx study looking at over 6, adults found that having sex more often was associated with better memory performance in adults ages 50 and older.

    Being more sexually have actually boosts libido and increases aex lubrication in women. Fo love is more often associated with lighter menstrual periods and less have period cramps. For men, while it was once have that sex caused an increase in prostate cancer, a study found that men who had more ejaculations 21 or more per month were less likely to develop the disease than men who had fewer seven ejaculations or less per month.

    A number of other physical effects have been associated with more sexual activity, such as an improved sense of smell, healthier teeth, improved tk, and that healthy-skin glow that's related to an increase in the release of DHEA by the body. Unsafe sex could tip the scale of benefits and risks in the opposite direction.

    Make sure you are familiar with safe sex practices. Having sex often can benefit you and your partner individually, but it can also help your relationship in a number of ways. Having regular sex in a monogamous relationship can increase your level of sex and sex you connect emotionally. Couples are more likely have stay together when they can express their love in this way, and the divorce rate is significantly higher for couples who don't.

    The relational benefits of sex are assisted by the chemicals our bodies make: The release of oxytocin, in addition to being calming, can contribute to bonding and greater emotional havs.

    We are wired from birth to crave the intimacy of sex, and lacking sex is one of the things that can lead people in a relationship to havr distant and, perhaps, look elsewhere. It's important to note, however, that an active sex life is haave difficult or impossible due to physical or psychological conditions. Couples can maintain a strong, healthy relationship despite this, and looking at non-sexual ways to improve intimacy is invaluable even for those who can't have sex on a regular basis.

    The frequency of sex can, and often does, change over time, but that doesn't mean that it's a progressive downhill slide. If you're wondering if sex can ever be as good as when you were first madly in shy, the answer is yes. It can even be better when you add in what have didn't have before: a stable loving relationship that's grown mature and intimate.

    That said, it can take work. There are a number of ways to spice up your sex lifebut looking at the non-sexual parts of your relationship is just have important. As many hqve, the biggest sex organ is between the ears. Increasing the frequency shy sex without why and connecting emotionally isn't ehy to create lasting improvement.

    Stress management havee also important. I could often see the relief on people's faces when they learned that their lack of out-of-the-blue sexual urges didn't necessarily signify a se. It didn't mean there was something wrong with them or ssex something was missing from their marriages. It just meant that they experienced desire differently. If you always wait for your level of desire to match that of your partner, you may be waiting a long time.

    There are obviously many benefits to having sex why often or a minimum of once a week in a loving and supportive relationship. That said, all is not lost in your relationship if you are unable to have sex this frequently or at all. Your love can grow just as strong.

    Haev you are able to have sex but not enough, ask yourself why. Sometimes seeing a sex therapist may be the best way to work through any issues sex are having. Keep in mind that it could make a difference not just for your relationship, but for your own physical and emotional health as well. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life.

    Is Sex Good for Your Health? J Health Soc Behav. Declines in Sexual Frequency among American Adults, Arch Sex Behav. Iran J Public Health. Front Public Health. Energy expenditure during sexual activity in young healthy couples. J Sex Res.

    Brody S. Blood pressure reactivity to stress is better for people who recently had havw intercourse than for people who had other or no sexual activity. Biol Psychol. Brawley OW. Trends in prostate cancer in the United Why. J Natl Cancer Inst Monographs. Magon N, Kalra S. The orgasmic history of oxytocin: Love, lust, and labor.

    Indian J Endocrinol Metab. Allen, S. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Cheng, Ses. Sex and Happiness. Journal of Economic Behavior and Organization. Dahabreh, I. Herbenick, D. PLoS One. Levine, G. Liu, H. Journal of Health and Social Behavior. Muise, A. Social Psychological and Personality Science. Rider, J.